How to Show and Not Tell When Writing Stories

I found the concept of show not tell hard to grasp when I began writing. After all, isn't everything we write telling? The concept still frustrates me when I don't recognize too much telling in my own stories.

When we write we want to avoid making simple statements that don't add any details to the piece.
For example: The man was happy.

The sentence only tells us his emotional state. Instead, paint a picture and describe the man's happiness. His gestures, actions, expressions will help the reader see him.

Here is a showing example for the above sentence: The man hummed his favorite song as he bounced across the parking lot. 


Telling example: The room was a mess.
Try describing the items in the room that make it messy and how a character might react to it.

  Showing example: Jack stepped over the an empty pizza box,  dirty underwear, and used tissues that littered the floor. 

Telling example: John was mean to Jill.
How can I fix this telling line? I can by showing what John did to Jill.
Showing example: John clenched his fist and pounded Jill in the arm, leaving a bruise the size of a tennis ball. 

Telling example. Drapes covered the windows.
It is better to show someone acting upon the drapes than to tell the reader about the decor.
Showing example:  Margaret parted the velvet drapes, letting the sun inside. 

Telling example: It was hot outside.
Pick out some details that show the effect of how hot it was.
Showing example: Perspiration rolled down her back, and she tugged at her damp top.

Telling example: It was icy.
Add details to the writing.
Showing example: Her foot slipped on the ice covering the sidewalk, and she tumbled to the ground. 

Use senses to show and not tell. Touch: How did something feel?  Smell: What did it smell like?
Hearing: Describe the sound. Sight: What did it look like? Taste: What was the texture, temperature, flavor? Describe a character's action upon, perception to or reaction to surroundings, weather, and situations to better show the reader your story.

The word was doesn't help to show anything. Look for was and consider revising the sentence if an opportunity to show has been missed.

REVISE YOUR STORIES

Revise to strengthen writing

What happens when you finish a favorite story, and no one seems to appreciate the effort? If the short story didn’t get picked up by the literary magazine or win the big cash prize in a contest, the piece might need tweaking. If your novel receives more than thirty rejections, there could be something wrong. 

Writing is a lot like cooking a gourmet meal. Some folks hate the duck confit with a side of roasted brussels sprouts. Agents and publishers have a huge menu to choose from. Make sure the people you are serving have a taste and preference for the type of story you cooked up. You can’t force steak on a vegetarian any easier than humor on an agent who wants horror.

Maybe you had the above figured out and sent your manuscript to the right agency, and they didn’t bite. Read the first page and pretend someone else wrote it. If a stranger picked it up at Barnes and Noble, could they keep their eyes on the paper? Remember, they’re surrounded by fascinating books the same way an agent has hundreds of manuscripts to choose from. If not, rewrite any paragraph that conjures daydreams. Boring scenes are not allowed. Write that on an index card in big red letters and keep it next to you as a reminder.

If you can’t figure out what’s amiss, other eyes can help; not your mom’s or best friends. Find someone who isn’t afraid of offending you. Writers’ groups are useful. If there isn’t one, start one. If no one is interested, consider going online.

I want to keep this post brief, but here’s another tip to make sure the revisions are saved properly. Back up your drafts twice. Do it every time you write. I don’t carve my story into a stone tablet, and neither do you. I’ve heard nightmares about lost manuscripts after a cat knocked a glass of water on the laptop. Keep that in mind next time you shut down the computer even if you don’t have a four-legged menace in your home.

Revisions are part of the process that makes writing better. I wish everyone one the best and happy writing.

Editing Your Stories

Writing is creating, but drafts need editing. I love Microsoft Word for its find and replace feature. Eons ago, I learned to type using a typewriter. Because of that, I have a habit of hitting the space bar twice after ending a sentence. That’s not correct when using a computer. But there’s an easy fix. By clicking the home tab and selecting replace, the find/replace window opens. Now the magic begins when I double space on the find what line, then single space on the replace line and select replace all. A twinge of satisfaction rushes through me when the command corrects twenty errors with a single keystroke. I repeat the task until the computer reports no replacements.

Recently, I wanted to rename a town in my book. Instead of reading every page to find the name, I used the feature. In an instant, Merryville became Cotton. I can also search for overused words. Turn and step pop up too often in my stories. When I’m on a creative streak, any generic word will do. Later I will use the find feature and change it to something fabulous.

To write well, I must write, write and rewrite.

A Time to Give Thanks

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

D. H. Lawrence

For the past nine nights, I dreamed I could walk only to awaken the next morning to a broken ankle. The disappointment hit me. There was no gold medal hanging around my neck because I didn’t smoke the competition at the 5K race I thought I had won.  My mind cleared after I wiped the sleep from my eyes. My sneakers were in the closet. The wheelchair and walker took their place next to my bed.  

I can’t complain. Five weeks will whiz by like the last summer vacation. Today isn’t a time for self-pity. I must rejoice. A skilled surgeon drilled holes in the bones for the screws that realigned my joints. In time, the fractures will heal. I will walk again. That wouldn’t have happened a couple hundred years ago.

My husband is out running the trails as I write this. I’m thankful he can. No one has helped me more since the accident though I have close friends who have gone the extra mile. Mary Lou, Marie, Bonnie, Raven, Blake, Yolanda, and Father Williams made sure I had what I needed.

 When my husband returns, he and I will enjoy the sunshine on our backyard patio. It’s a good day to catch the rays and listen to the radio—a rare treat for February.   

In the coming weeks, I will use the extra time to write. No one ever needed a working ankle to write stories. 

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