TIPS FOR GREAT DIALOGUE

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Hello Writers,

Come on in and hang with me a while. Let me give you some tips about writing dialogue for your characters. I'll start with the basics for new writers, then move on to easy rules that help everyone. 

Structure

For each line of dialogue, the character’s words must have curly quotation marks on both ends.

For example. “It’s in the car.” 

The other punctuation marks such as any period, question mark, comma, explanation point must be inside the quotation marks. Think of it as a neat package with everything kept inside.

Dialogue Tags

Dialogue tags are the small phrases that show who's speaking. They stay outside the quotation marks. 

I’ll use our example above to show you. “It’s in the car,” Sara said. 

The sentence ends with a period after the tag said. Some writers are confused about when to capitalize while using a dialogue tag. Only capitalize when the tag starts with a proper noun like Sara. If I had used the word she instead, I wouldn’t capitalize it. 

For example: “It’s in the car,” she said.       NOT: “It’s in the car,” She said.

When using dialogue tags, give them purpose. It’s best to use tags sparingly to tell the reader who's speaking when there may be confusion. Also, stick to said or asked. Readers gloss over said and asked, but linger on words like exclaimed, whispered, yelled, huffed, and other expressions. But back to what I was saying; let me show you how writers overuse tags.

“It’s in the car,” Sara said.

“Where in the car?” Todd asked.

“Under the seat,” Sarah said.

“Which seat?” he asked.

Don’t write like that. There are too many tags. No reader wants to look at that. If you are unsure if you used too many, read the line out loud. You’ll know instantly if it sounds robotic. 

Now to my next point. Each person speaking gets their own line like I wrote it above. What if everyone wrote dialogue like this?

“It’s in the car,” Sara said. “Where in the car?” Todd asked. “Under the seat,” Sara said. “Which seat?” he asked.

It’s hard on the eyes, isn’t it? Don’t write like that either. Those are basic tips for structure, and I only mention it to help new writers who may not know the difference. Give each speaker their own line. 


So, what do you put between the quotation marks? I have easy rules.

#1. Dialogue isn't a conversation. It must be in line with a character’s desire for something. Nobody talks unless they want something.

When people talk, they chitchat, pause, and sometimes never get to the point. If your characters speak like that, they'll bore the reader. Drop all the pleasantries and think about the character's motivation. What do the characters need or want to move the plot along? 

For example: If Mary is looking for her husband’s killer, she won’t chitchat while that is on her mind. She wouldn’t ask her neighbor, Leanne, how to grow mums. She might ask Leanne about strange sounds the night of the murder. 

Whenever you’re not sure if the dialogue is appropriate for the scene, ask yourself, if I eliminated it would the reader understand what’s going on? Make each line count. The next time you watch a movie, listen to the dialogue. Each line has a purpose. The actors don’t talk unless there's a reason.  

#2. Dialogue expresses the character, not the writer. It's not there to dump information that the writer wants the reader to know. It isn’t a speech.

Please don’t dump information on the reader in long-winded character speeches. 

For example, a man is talking to his neighbor: “As you know, Bob, my son has been in college for five years. He should've graduated last year, but he likes to come home in the summer instead of taking classes to catch up. I think he should work harder. Finish and get a job.”

If Bob already knows about his neighbor's son, he doesn’t need to hear the story again. This is an example of the writer trying to dump information onto the reader. Don’t force-feed the details. The writer is putting the words in the character’s mouth instead of letting the character move closer to his goal.

#3.  Choose to show a scene instead of using dialogue when possible.

Sometimes it’s better to let the characters show rather than talk, even with conflict. In my following example, a married couple is having a problem in their relationship. I could let them argue and fight, but consider the following instead of a page of dialogue. 

 The couple leaves their penthouse apartment. Harry rushes toward the elevator while donning his hat, leaving his wife far behind him. When she finally catches up, the elevator doors bump her as she gets inside. She clutches her purse against her chest. Both of them are frowning until the elevator stops on the fourth floor, and the doors open to reveal a beautiful woman. Harry holds the elevator, removes his hat, and smiles at the lady when she enters. His wife takes a step away from him.

See what I mean. A visual can show the reader the state of their relationship without them saying a word.

#4. Use contractions

 Unless your character speaks formally, use contractions such as don’t couldn’t, wouldn’t and others. It sounds better than do not, could not, should not. It will seem natural to readers. 

#5. Don’t use proper names excessively when using dialogue tags.

This goes back to what sounds good. It’s better to tag with he said, she said, instead of calling the characters by proper names when it’s clear who he and she are. Proper names identify individuals of the same gender. For example: If Mary is talking to Casey, one of them will need their name when tagged. 

#6. Give each character their own voice, a contrast from one another

Let each character have their own way of saying things based on their education, age, personality, outlook on life.

For example: If someone told a pessimist that her husband filed for divorce, the dialogue might go like this: 

“Oh, you poor thing. You’ll never ever find another man. Now that you’re over forty, you should move back in with your parents if they’ll have you.”

While an optimist might say:

 “He wasn’t right for you. But don’t worry, there’s this guy I know who's perfect for you. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d go out with him myself. I’ll set you up.”

The optimist and pessimist will have different outlooks on everything. That’ll determine what each will say. Each character has a motivation even if it's only responding to what was said. It’s the writer’s job to determine how each character will reply.

#7. Don’t let heads talk in empty rooms.

Give the reader a little scenery and action between the dialogue. When the dialogue goes on too long, it seems like heads are talking. Without scenery, everything goes blank, sometimes referred to as white room syndrome. Ground the reader with a view of the surroundings. Give the characters something to do to engage the reader, so the scene becomes realistic.

#8. Use subtext when to add depth to the story when appropriate. 

Dialogue is interesting when the reader can read between the lines. The subtext is the meaning beneath the spoken words and within the body language. Often what’s said isn’t what’s meant. It’s implied. This avoids on-the-nose dialogue that points out the obvious to the reader. Readers like to come to their own conclusions.

Don’t get into the habit of letting characters to tell each other exactly what they’re thinking all the time. Whenever you find them being candid, take a step back. Is this information necessary to advance the plot or the readers’ understanding of what’s going on? If not, cut it. Why would one character share or withhold their thoughts from another character? There are whole books written on subtext, and it’s beyond the scope of this blog. I may write a blog about this subject later.

This post was longer than I had planned. I hope this helps you create believable dialogue in your stories. Whatever you do, keep writing.

THE WRITING SCHEDULE

My Own Routine

People ask me how I make time to write. My day job takes 40-50 hours out of my week. If I'm not physically at my office, I'm running errands to keep my small business afloat. I have a husband, two dogs, two cats, and a house that needs attention. 

My morning starts with preparing for work and tucking everyone in before I head to my job. When I get home, the chores are waiting. 

Colby is my only distraction.

It's easy to say there's no time to write. But I enjoy creating stories, and sometimes I'm up past midnight pounding the keyboard. It's part of my life and writing a novel takes months. 

CREATE A SPACE FOR WRITING

I have a cozy spot in my living room where I disconnect from the rest of the world. Phone calls, televisions, and distractions disappear. Occasionally, my cat sits on me. No problem. Two of us can fit in the chair. This is where I alternate between reading books and writing my own. To understand writing well, I read every day. 

When I'm in my den, my imaginary world takes priority. I build it line by line, page by page, and chapter by chapter. This is what I do most days. Some people think my habits are strange, obsessive, and unnecessary. It makes me different from them. It makes me a writer.

LET THE CHARACTER'S THOUGHTS CONVEY THEIR EMOTIONS

Photo by Gabriel Matula on Unsplash

Every writer wants readers to connect with their work. After all, it’s not easy to craft a novel, short story, novella, or memoir. Today I’ll share a key to unlock that mystery.

People want to understand your characters and go on a journey with them. To provide a mental escape, make the reader feel what your characters feel.

There are three ways a writer describes a character’s emotion.

1. Tell how the character feels.

Example: Tom was scared.

By saying it outright as a fact, the reader can’t feel anything. You could say it’s September and evoke the same level of indifference from the person. If you dump statements in the entire story, filter words, such as angry, anxious, afraid, happy, etc., the reader will lose interest. 

2. Show the character’s reaction.

Example: Tom crouched behind the building and trembled.

This is better than the first illustration, but too many actions without Tom’s thoughts fail to engage the reader. If several scenes require him to be scared, each version of showing him that way becomes harder. After a while, it’s difficult to top the last description.

3. Introspection. It means the character’s thoughts are open to the reader. This helps the reader understand the stakes.

Example: It was Tom’s second glimpse at the monster—two heads and four eyes that rolled in opposite directions. It's searching for me, and there's only one building between us. If I can make it to the hills I might have a sporting chance. If not, I'll die like Jase and Melissa, ripped apart by two mouths in a tug of war while the creature fights itself for the bigger share. Why did I ever come here?

I could have said Tom was afraid of the monster, but that alone doesn’t give the reader much. By letting the reader know what Tom thinks about when he sees it, I raise the stakes. The reader will empathize with the character and hopefully tap into his fear.

This was a quick example I made up off the top of my head. Some authors use a combination of the three together to make sure readers get the connection. Look at the passages in your favorite books for better examples. I find introspection is the best way to make the book relatable.

SUMMER'S BOUNTY

Blackberries from Sta- n-Step Blueberry Farm

Peace on the farm

The dew still coated the grass when my husband and I arrived at the Sta-n-Step Blueberry Farm this morning. From surrounding trees, the birds called to each other, and the fragrance of green leaves scented the air.

Clear summer skies in Arkansas brought sweltering heat. We were prepared. Our hats and sunglasses shielded our eyes from the glaring sun.

 Les, the owner, greeted us with plastic buckets. Several people picked from berry-laden bushes. Les and his family tended the plants all year for the brief June/ July season.

We visited the rows of blueberries first. The branches were heavy with plump fruit. Blueberries seemed to drip off the vines. We filled our containers before finding the blackberry bushes.

The blackberries were bigger than my thumb. No thorns stuck me either. Tame plants don’t grow barbs like the forest varieties. With a light touch, the berries rolled off the stems into my palm. I collected a gallon of them within fifteen minutes, plenty to eat now and freeze for later. There may be cobblers in the future, but I doubt it. My husband can devour a gallon of berries in twenty-four hours.  

The Sta-n-Step Blueberry Farm is located at 3104 Wildcat Creek Blvd, Fayetteville, AR. It’s near Tontitown. If you want to pick berries, hurry. By mid-July, they'll be gone.

FUR DADDIES CELEBRATE FATHER'S DAY TOO

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Today is Father’s Day, and I hope all of you men find peace and happiness on this glorious holiday. Some of you are natural fathers, foster dads, adoptive fathers and grandpas raising your grandchildren. There may be a few uncles raising your nieces or nephews. And of course, I can’t forget the fur babies. My husband is a wonderful daddy to two cats and two dogs.

We have a petting zoo here at the Mueller Retreat. Our companions lavish us with doggy kisses and kitty-cat massages at least once an hour. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Celebrate fatherhood and enjoy your special day.

How to Show and Not Tell When Writing Stories

I found the concept of show not tell hard to grasp when I began writing. After all, isn't everything we write telling? The concept still frustrates me when I don't recognize too much telling in my own stories.

When we write we want to avoid making simple statements that don't add any details to the piece.
For example: The man was happy.

The sentence only tells us his emotional state. Instead, paint a picture and describe the man's happiness. His gestures, actions, expressions will help the reader see him.

Here is a showing example for the above sentence: The man hummed his favorite song as he bounced across the parking lot. 


Telling example: The room was a mess.
Try describing the items in the room that make it messy and how a character might react to it.

  Showing example: Jack stepped over the an empty pizza box,  dirty underwear, and used tissues that littered the floor. 

Telling example: John was mean to Jill.
How can I fix this telling line? I can by showing what John did to Jill.
Showing example: John clenched his fist and pounded Jill in the arm, leaving a bruise the size of a tennis ball. 

Telling example. Drapes covered the windows.
It is better to show someone acting upon the drapes than to tell the reader about the decor.
Showing example:  Margaret parted the velvet drapes, letting the sun inside. 

Telling example: It was hot outside.
Pick out some details that show the effect of how hot it was.
Showing example: Perspiration rolled down her back, and she tugged at her damp top.

Telling example: It was icy.
Add details to the writing.
Showing example: Her foot slipped on the ice covering the sidewalk, and she tumbled to the ground. 

Use senses to show and not tell. Touch: How did something feel?  Smell: What did it smell like?
Hearing: Describe the sound. Sight: What did it look like? Taste: What was the texture, temperature, flavor? Describe a character's action upon, perception to or reaction to surroundings, weather, and situations to better show the reader your story.

The word was doesn't help to show anything. Look for was and consider revising the sentence if an opportunity to show has been missed.

TIPS FOR FINDING YOUR WRITING VOICE

The Writing Voice Simplified

Everyone can develop a writer’s voice that will keep the readers flipping pages. I’ll simplify the process for success. There are myths about voice. New writers think they have to find it in their own words. That’s partially correct, but only because the author creates the characters.

The author's voice comes from the point-of-view character. It’s the character’s unique expression and reactions you are after.

There is a secret to developing the voice. It requires knowing the point-of-view character well. Combine the character’s background and his/her way of speaking with the author’s emotions conjured from the author’s experiences and show it on the page. Let’s demonstrate how it works.

1. Choose a character and narrow their description to what dominant impression he/ she will give the reader. Pick an adjective and a vocation to show how other people perceive him. I’ll give an example: cranky waiter

2. Pick his physical features: Short, stubby body type, thinning hair, flatter nose, frown on face, tattoo of a bulldog on his forearm.

3. What is the character’s background? Where did he grow up? Describe his family life. Describe his economic situation. What is his highest level of education? What pop culture items did he identify with as a younger person? Examples: movies, music, sports teams, etc.

Let’s pretend our cranky waiter grew up in the inner city. He never met his father. His mother adored him, but she died when he turned eighteen. He grew up in poverty and lives paycheck to paycheck. He likes Katy Perry, chili dogs, and wrestling matches.

4. Give the character a past life-altering event that affects him today.
    Our waiter has a criminal record for theft and is often rejected at high paying jobs.

5. What does the character desire? What are his goals and dreams?
    The waiter wants less stress at work.

Can you see the character? I can. If I couldn’t, I’d search Google for images until I found him. Sometimes I save the photo if I’m using the character in a novel.

Now make a character’s voice journal. Writing it down will serve as a tool to help create the character's personality. How do you think he talks and expresses himself? Base his words on his core values. What is his attitude about life? What makes him mad, crazy or happy? What is important to him? Use any demeanor you like. I’ll make a quick voice journal using our cranky waiter.

Here it goes:

“When it’s noon at the ole slop house, you can bet thirty tables will fill up within fifteen minutes. We’re down two servers, and I’ve been bustin’ my hump. Me waitin’ ten tables an hour. It’s always the same breakfast skippin’ crowd. They’re starvin’ like stray dogs. Double cheeseburgers with double onion rings, and double fries. I’m runnin’ in fifteen directions. Gimme ketchup. Gimme another Pepsi. Gimme more napkins. Gimme water. Gimme, gimme, gimme. They got me trippin’ over my feet and spillin’ the drinks. Last week I dropped a glass of ice water in a lady’s lap. Cost me my tip.”

The cranky man could talk forever if I let him, but I think you get the idea. He sees the world his own way, and the writer must give him a personality on paper for him to have a voice.

Now imagine the server is Mindy, a teenage girl working at Chucky Cheese. She is a cheerful server who loves pepperoni pizza and little kids. She’s working a summer job to buy a scooter. What might she say about working if she has a bubbly personality and I give her a voice?

For voices to come out of a character, the author must identify with the character’s feelings so closely, they merge. You must draw on personal experiences that made you feel the same way as the character. Express it in words, and the reader will feel the same emotion.

If you write a story about a divorced homemaker going on a job interview, you must identify with her emotions when you write her story. If the character feels nervous and insecure, write from your own heart. Remember a time when you were nervous and insecure. Pretend you’re the homemaker when writing the story. The writer becomes the character temporarily to garner empathy for the character.

Try the above techniques when writing your next story. For further reading find a copy of Voice by James Scott Bell.

REVISE YOUR STORIES

Revise to strengthen writing

What happens when you finish a favorite story, and no one seems to appreciate the effort? If the short story didn’t get picked up by the literary magazine or win the big cash prize in a contest, the piece might need tweaking. If your novel receives more than thirty rejections, there could be something wrong. 

Writing is a lot like cooking a gourmet meal. Some folks hate the duck confit with a side of roasted brussels sprouts. Agents and publishers have a huge menu to choose from. Make sure the people you are serving have a taste and preference for the type of story you cooked up. You can’t force steak on a vegetarian any easier than humor on an agent who wants horror.

Maybe you had the above figured out and sent your manuscript to the right agency, and they didn’t bite. Read the first page and pretend someone else wrote it. If a stranger picked it up at Barnes and Noble, could they keep their eyes on the paper? Remember, they’re surrounded by fascinating books the same way an agent has hundreds of manuscripts to choose from. If not, rewrite any paragraph that conjures daydreams. Boring scenes are not allowed. Write that on an index card in big red letters and keep it next to you as a reminder.

If you can’t figure out what’s amiss, other eyes can help; not your mom’s or best friends. Find someone who isn’t afraid of offending you. Writers’ groups are useful. If there isn’t one, start one. If no one is interested, consider going online.

I want to keep this post brief, but here’s another tip to make sure the revisions are saved properly. Back up your drafts twice. Do it every time you write. I don’t carve my story into a stone tablet, and neither do you. I’ve heard nightmares about lost manuscripts after a cat knocked a glass of water on the laptop. Keep that in mind next time you shut down the computer even if you don’t have a four-legged menace in your home.

Revisions are part of the process that makes writing better. I wish everyone one the best and happy writing.

Editing Your Stories

Writing is creating, but drafts need editing. I love Microsoft Word for its find and replace feature. Eons ago, I learned to type using a typewriter. Because of that, I have a habit of hitting the space bar twice after ending a sentence. That’s not correct when using a computer. But there’s an easy fix. By clicking the home tab and selecting replace, the find/replace window opens. Now the magic begins when I double space on the find what line, then single space on the replace line and select replace all. A twinge of satisfaction rushes through me when the command corrects twenty errors with a single keystroke. I repeat the task until the computer reports no replacements.

Recently, I wanted to rename a town in my book. Instead of reading every page to find the name, I used the feature. In an instant, Merryville became Cotton. I can also search for overused words. Turn and step pop up too often in my stories. When I’m on a creative streak, any generic word will do. Later I will use the find feature and change it to something fabulous.

To write well, I must write, write and rewrite.

A Time to Give Thanks

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."

D. H. Lawrence

For the past nine nights, I dreamed I could walk only to awaken the next morning to a broken ankle. The disappointment hit me. There was no gold medal hanging around my neck because I didn’t smoke the competition at the 5K race I thought I had won.  My mind cleared after I wiped the sleep from my eyes. My sneakers were in the closet. The wheelchair and walker took their place next to my bed.  

I can’t complain. Five weeks will whiz by like the last summer vacation. Today isn’t a time for self-pity. I must rejoice. A skilled surgeon drilled holes in the bones for the screws that realigned my joints. In time, the fractures will heal. I will walk again. That wouldn’t have happened a couple hundred years ago.

My husband is out running the trails as I write this. I’m thankful he can. No one has helped me more since the accident though I have close friends who have gone the extra mile. Mary Lou, Marie, Bonnie, Raven, Blake, Yolanda, and Father Williams made sure I had what I needed.

 When my husband returns, he and I will enjoy the sunshine on our backyard patio. It’s a good day to catch the rays and listen to the radio—a rare treat for February.   

In the coming weeks, I will use the extra time to write. No one ever needed a working ankle to write stories. 

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