HOOK THE READER FROM THE FIRST PAGE

Photo courtesy of my own tackle box

Hello Writers,

This week I have a special treat for you. I have invited other authors to share their best tips for hooking the reader from the first page. These methods are tried and true. 

Without the proper bait, your hook won't attract anyone. You can cast your lure online, and no one will notice. After all, the internet is a sea of books. You want readers to bite early and hang on tight  You can't have them to fighting to escape. If done properly, they'll love your story and beg for more.  

For the record, I took this picture myself, but I don't like fishing for anything but readers. 

There's a half-dozen barbs on the lure. And there's more than one way hook your audience. Now, let's see how my guests dig their hooks in deep. 

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Helen C. Johannes writes fantasy romance and has a tip for you. 

One technique I use is to set up a goal for the character in the opening lines. What does he/she hope to achieve in the next minutes/hours? If the reader knows what the character is determined to do, the reader can ‘keep score’ as the character bobs and weaves through whatever obstacles are thrown into his/her path. Here’s the opening to my latest fantasy romance LORD OF DRUEMARWIN: 

Sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-one...  Naed counted the tower steps, gritting his teeth at every other one. His left leg held strong under the combined weight of his weapons, shield and chest armor—even on the third climb.

Seventy-two, seventy-three... Never again would he be the last up the stairs because of it. Never again would he fall.

Or fail. 

Sweat dripped off his nose. Seventy-four, seventy-five, seventy-six...  To make doubly sure, he would add his helm to the weight total tomorrow.

If only his patched-together thigh didn’t still ache... 

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Helen-C-Johannes/e/B003JJDQWS/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_ebooks_1

 Blog: Helen C. Johannes, Author

Contact: helen.c.johannes@gmail.com

http://helencjohannes.blogspot.com/

Brave Men, Bold Women, Hearts in Search of Home

LORD OF DRUEMARWIN

THE PRINCE OF VAL-FEYRIDGE

BLOODSTONE

FREDERICK FLY-CATCHER             Blog / Amazon author page  / The Wild Rose Press 

About the author: 

Helen C. Johannes writes award-winning fantasy romance inspired by the fairy tales she grew up reading and the amazing historical places she’s visited in England, Ireland, Scotland and Germany. She writes tales of adventure and romance in fully realized worlds sprung from pure imagination and a lifelong interest in history, culture, and literature. Warriors on horseback, women who refuse to sit idly at home, and passion that cannot be denied or outrun—that’s what readers will find in her books.

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Here's some advice from contemporary romance author, Jennifer Wilck. 

Ideally, I want the first line of my book to grab my reader’s attention in unexpected ways. Maybe it’s a piece of dialogue that’s just crazy enough to make the reader stop and focus. Or a description of the hero that makes the reader drool. Or just something out of the ordinary that conveys information. In my latest book, Unlock My Heart, the first sentence of the first chapter gives information about my hero, Ted Endicott.

Lip reading was exhausting.

“Right away, the reader knows the hero is hard of hearing, he’s tired, and he wants to make a change (even if he doesn’t know it yet himself). Hopefully, the reader is convinced to keep reading to learn more."

Here's a link to Jennifer's books: https://books2read.com/u/4NyjGx 

About the author:

Jennifer started telling herself stories as a little girl when she couldn’t fall asleep at night. Pretty soon, her head was filled with these stories and the characters that populated them. Even as an adult, she thinks about the characters and stories at night before she falls asleep or walking the dog. Eventually, she started writing them down. Her favorite stories to write are those with smart, sassy, independent heroines; handsome, strong and slightly vulnerable heroes; and her stories always end with happily ever after.

In the real world, she’s the mother of two amazing daughters and wife of one of the smartest men she knows. She believes humor is the only way to get through the day and does not believe in sharing her chocolate. 

Jennifer Wilck is an award-winning contemporary romance author for readers who are passionate about love, laughter, and happily ever after. Known for writing both Jewish and non-Jewish romances, her books feature damaged heroes, sassy and independent heroines, witty banter and hot chemistry. Jennifer’s ability to transport the reader into the scene, create characters the reader will fall in love with, and evoke a roller coaster of emotions, will hook you from the first page. You can find her books at all major online retailers in a variety of formats.

Author Links:

Website: http://www.jenniferwilck.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/879114386079365

Newsletter: https://www.jenniferwilck.com/contact.html#newsletter

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JWilck

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjenniferwilck/

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/jennifer-wilck

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Sandra Young enjoys mixing things up. Here's what she had to say.

When I wrote my February debut, Divine Vintage, I mixed genres in an attempt to hook readers who enjoy a variety of books. I personally like to read novels that entwine romance around historical mystery, fashion, and ghostly influences, so I focused on those for my debut and the sequel I’m currently finishing.

 

I also strive to keep up the pace of the scenes. If I start getting bored or bogged down when writing, I imagine readers will feel the same and I move on in building the tension and stakes for the characters.

 

 

Sandra L. Young

Author of Divine Vintage

Debuted February 21, 2022 with The Wild Rose Press

 

Website: SandraYoungAuthor.com

@1DivineVintage    https://www.instagram.com/slyoungauthor/

About the author:

Sandra L. Young’s love of vintage fashion inspired her to write her debut novel, Divine Vintage. She’s researched and gathered an impressive collection spanning the late 1800s to 1990s, wearing pieces onstage through years of performing in community theater. To round out her love of the arts, she sings with a trio and a praise band. The book is available through https://books2read.com/u/3Ly7Q5 or links on her web site at https://sandrayoungauthor.com/.

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Regarding hooks, Carol Nickles  tries to leave the reader with a lingering visceral reaction so they are compelled to read more! Here are 2 excerpts from her book, Thumb Fire Desire. 

Monet, Gauguin, and Winslow Homer would have

pledged their plein air easels for a crack at the scene.

But the scene sticking in Ginny’s mind on her return

home was Peter, brushing his rough hands over an

embroidered hatband. She couldn’t decipher all it

entailed, but this she knew—a bond existed between

Peter and Nokee that surpassed any of the dime novel

love stories authored by Mrs. Georgie Sheldon.

Ginny’s hips rolled in tandem with the movement

of Buster’s shoulders. Her feet lolled in the stirrups.

She held the reins lightly. The hardest working muscle

in her body was her brain. Ginny’s accumulated kiss

experience left her questioning and wanting. She leaned

forward and pressed her lips into Buster’s mane. Was

Peter’s kiss just an emotional climax to a thrilling

horse race? Or was he kissing her like he’d kiss a little

sister?

To read more of  Carol's book,  Thumb Fire Desire click the link https://www.amazon.com/Thumb-Fire-Desire-Carol-Nickles/dp/1509241981/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UTELDSQI7008&keywords=thumb+fire+desire+by+carol+nickles&qid=1651519365&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1

About the author: 

Carol Nickles is the sixth generation of a German textile aficionado family.  In 1881, her great-great-great-grandfather founded Yale Woolen Mill—the longest-lasting of Michigan’s once twenty-nine woolen mills.  Carol earned a Master’s degree in Historic Clothing & Textiles at Michigan State University.  Her thesis is a narrative of the Yale Woolen Mill. She held faculty positions at both Utah and Michigan State universities. She lives in West Michigan and enjoys spinning a tale, weaving a story, and threading a luring hook. 

Website: www.carolnicklesauthor.com

Email:  carolnickleswriting@gmail.com

Facebook:  AuthorCarolNickles

Tik Tok:  @authornickles

Twitter:  @CarolNickles

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Terry Newman, the author of Heartquake, has great advice. 

The surest way to grab the reader’s attention is to drop them into the middle of the action. And the best way to do that is to pique their attention with an opening line.

It’s that simple. And that difficult.

It’s impossible to underestimate a book’s first line. It needs to be short—some say no longer than ten words—and must lure them into the action that’s happening in the first paragraph.

In my book, Heartquake, the first line is: “No, ma’am, I don’t believe we’ll need you to describe it…” When the reader reads the next line, they discover they’re in the middleof the police dealing with reports of a lion  wandering through town.

As an author, you need to decide, first, on what type of action or situation to introduce to your readers, then decide on the best and shortest way to lure them into the action.

Buy Links

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Heartquake-Terry-Newman-ebook/dp/B09PJZ5FK1/ref=sr_1_1?crid=8O69AITAZH3O&keywords=heartquake+terry+newman&qid=1645631543&sprefix=Heartquake+%2Caps%2C98&sr=8-1 

Social Media Links

Website

https://terrynewmanauthor.com/

Facebook: Terry Newman

https://www.facebook.com/terry.newman.31521 

Twitter: @tnewmanwrites

https://twitter.com/tnewmanwrites 

Instagram: terry.newman.31521

https://www.instagram.com/terry.newman.31521/ 

TikTok: @terrynewman614

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60574351-heartquake?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=99H2V7dnWm&rank=1

Bookbub: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60574351-heartquake?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=99H2V7dnWm&rank=1 

About the author: 

Terry Newman has always loved words. As the editor-in-chief of a national natural health publishing company, she has written books on a variety of topics, as well as writing direct-mail advertising.

She’s also worked as a reporter, a communications specialist and a freelance writer. She’d had clients worldwide, and researched and wrote hundreds of eBooks and print books as well as ghostwrote novellas and short stories.

One day she woke and decided to make her dream of writing her own novel come true. She sets

all her stories in fictional towns in northeast Ohio and writes about things she loves—like coffee.

Terry has taught workshops on writing and character development. 

She has a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy, and lives in North Lima, a real town in

northeast Ohio.

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That's a wrap for my guests. Now, I'll throw in my two cents. In my YA suspense novel, Run Girl Run, the opening makes the reader curious and introduces my protagonist.

I started the trouble. If Dad was here, he’d say, ‘Tracie, you did it again.’

Naturally, the reader wonders what kind of trouble. What did she do?

Later, on the first page, my main character's desire and fear clash. Tracie wants something, but deep down she's afraid. This creates the internal conflict my character must overcome to reach her goal. Her internal conflict is the real story. It's why the story matters. That's how I make the reader care about her. Without her internal struggle, she's just a sixteen-year-old -girl in a terrible situation.

Tracie's fear stems from a misbelief she's been living with. I set her on a journey to overcome it. The reader goes along for the ride. That's how I hook my audience.

My novel is under contract with
The Wild Rose Press, tentative release 2022

This blog post was inspired by one of my subscribers. It wouldn't have been possible without the gracious authors who agreed to contribute. Thank you, thank you. You ladies are the best. Readers, please show them some love by clicking on their links, visiting their websites, or leaving a comment below.

If you like this post, be sure to share, and subscribe. If you have a tip that hooks the reader, feel free to leave a comment. We're here to help each other. If you have a writing topic you'd like me to tackle on a future, leave a request in the comments. Until then, have a blessed day, and whatever you do, keep writing.

10 WRITING TIPS THAT HELPED ME GET A BOOK DEAL

Photo by Eileen Pan on Unsplash   

  Hello, and welcome to my blog. 

 Today, I want to share some important tips that helped me.  I   have limited it to 10 useful pearls, so this is brief. If you have   a tip to share, please leave a comment. This list is not all-  inclusive. And I don't consider these rules. When I started   doing fewer of these things, a publisher noticed my work. 

 1. Write concise sentences. Don’t stack the adjectives.

 Here’s an example of stacking. Her father has a long, pointed,   frizzy, red beard and a large, scarred, crooked nose. There is  too much at once. If the details are important, sprinkle it into more sentences.

 Consider the following. Her father has a pointed beard and a crooked nose. Specific details are better than a list of descriptions. They help the reader remember the character.


 2. Use strong verbs and omit most adverbs to form stronger sentences.

Consider this sentence. Devon walked slowly across the room. What does walking slowly look like? Did Devon tiptoe or slink? Describing how he walked will improve the prose. Not all adverbs must go. Study the line in question and try to improve it with a stronger verb. I limit my adverbs to one or two in a chapter, if that.


3. Describe and resist explaining the interesting parts of a story. When we explain, we slip into telling.  When we describe, we show. Most writers have heard the saying show don’t tell. One way to check for telling is imagine yourself doing whatever your character is doing. If you can do it, you’re showing.

Adverbs tend to tell instead of show. Consider this dialogue.

“I can’t go,” she said, sadly.

Let’s see her pain.

She lowered her head and swiped a runaway tear. “I can’t go.”

Now the reader can see a sad woman.


4. Save telling for the boring parts and make it quick. If your character takes a bath, don’t include the details unless something exciting happens. That goes for house chores, travel, and anything a reader can imagine without help. No one cares about the soap unless it's laced with poison. 


5. End scenes with the point-of-view character experiencing a different emotion than at the beginning. If she was carefree, give her something to worry about. Maybe she realizes the man she loves is married to the sister she hasn't seen in ten years. The changes we create drive the plot. Readers need a reason to turn the page.


6. Avoid unnecessary words that add nothing important. Cut words like just, very, that, rather, quite, and seem unless you’re using them in dialogue to make a point. Even then, double check. Google crutch words in writing. Look for them in your story by using the word processor search box. Cut, cut, cut. Long, confusing sentences drag the pace.


7. Ask yourself how you can make your story more interesting. Maybe cats have wings in your novel. Perhaps butterflies bite and spread disease.  Anything goes. It’s your story.


8. Read to become a better writer. Learn to recognize good and bad writing. The best writers I know read several novels a year.


9. Leave your readers with an impression. Your fans may not remember everything in your story, but they will recall how it made them feel.


10. Connect with other writers. Go to conferences in person or online. Join writing critique groups. Try to find groups with published writers who mentor others. Learn from others. 


· Bonus tip: Keep writing if you like to. Don’t let anyone convince you to stop. While some people have more talent than others, perseverance counts. If you want your work published, keep trying.


If you like my blog, visit me again or leave a positive comment. I’d love to hear from you.

10 Ways to Enjoy National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo)

Photo by Artem Kniaz on Unsplash

Writing Ideas for November

 

Fall swept in along with National Novel Writing Month.  Nanowrimo, a nonprofit organization, encourages writers to write 50,000 words in 30 days. 

As I blog, millions of fingers are tapping thousands of keyboards. I imagine people are typing like mad at their desks, on their sofas, or in their recliners. Some of them are sitting in coffee shops or in the park.  

What if you want to participate, but you feel like you

missed the boat? No worries. I have 10 ways to make 

this month productive.

1. Start writing late. Don’t worry about hitting the 50K word count. Consider 1,667 words a day, which is 50,000 divided by 30. Your word count will fall short of the Nanowrimo goal, but hey, you put in the effort. Here is the official Nanowrimo link if you want to check them out. https://nanowrimo.org/come-write-in 

2. Finish an old manuscript. Once upon a time, you loved the project. Maybe you can rekindle the desire.

3.  Go to a conference or take an online writing course. If money is tight, binge on free YouTube videos.

4. Research writing contests and prepare an entry.

5.  Start a new blog or prepare a post for an existing one.

6.  Revise an old manuscript that didn’t make the cut. Sometimes a rewrite does the trick.

7.  Write a nonfiction book on a topic dear to your heart.

8.  Write short stories or poetry 6 days a week. Spend 1 day a week submitting them to magazines.

9.   Spend November reading craft books or a novel that’s collecting dust on its jacket.

10.   Give your brain a rest and let it percolate. By December, your mind will brew a fresh story. Down time prevents burnout. If writing isn’t fun, you need a break.
 

DANGLING AND MISPLACED MODIFIERS

                                             Photo by George Bakos on Unsplash
 

I've been away from Blogger for several months now. Since things are changing here, I will probably move my posts to a different site. After the pandemic started, I didn't spend as much time on social media. Like this unplugged, abandoned television in George Bako's photo, I was isoloated and felt out of place. And I noticed other bloggers either stopped posting or moved their posts off Blogger. 

Today, I wanted to blog again. Dangling and misplaced modifiers came to mind. Sometimes writers write unclear sentences and end up with something silly. This is the case with dangling modifiers. A dangling modifier is usually a prepositional or participial phrase that describes, or gives more detail about the wrong word. The word it was supposed to modify was left out of the sentence, and the modifier was placed near the wrong word, leaving the modifier dangling.

Let me give you some examples:

While still in diapers, my father remarried. 

Ha ha. Babies don't get married, so we know this is a messed up sentence. Since while in diapers is next to my father, the sentence means my father was still in diapers. It should refer to the narrator, and the word I isn’t in the sentence. To correct this, the I should be added. While I was still in diapers, my father remarried.

Here is another dangler with the same problem:

While reading a book on the sofa, my cat jumped onto my lap.

Cats don’t know how to read, so this is silly. Instead, it should say: While I was reading on the sofa, my cat jumped onto my lap. Or: While I read on the sofa, my cat jumped onto my lap. 

 Here is a misplaced modifier which has a similar problem:

He read from his Kindle wearing glasses.

We can assume it is the male in this sentence who is wearing glasses, but the way it’s written says the book is wearing glasses since the modifier is next to Kindle. Maybe rewrite it as: He wore glasses and read from his Kindle.

Here is another problem sentence:

At the bottom of the aquarium, Leslie saw the eel.

Leslie wasn't swimming in the aquarium with the eel. To fix this issue, rewrite it like this. Leslie saw the eel at the bottom of the aquarium.

One day, I walked the dog in my pajamas.

A four legged dog can't wear two legged pajamas. The fix: One day, while I wore pajamas, I walked the dog.

I am selling several old hats from grandpa in great condition.

Is grandpa in great condition or are the hats? How about: I'm selling several old hats in great condition that belonged to my grandpa.

It’s important to edit your writing to avoid silly mistakes. I hope this brief post helps you understand how to identify a misplaced or dangling modifier and how to fix it.

 

 

TIPS FOR GREAT DIALOGUE

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Hello Writers,

Come on in and hang with me a while. Let me give you some tips about writing dialogue for your characters. I'll start with the basics for new writers, then move on to easy rules that help everyone. 

Structure

For each line of dialogue, the character’s words must have curly quotation marks on both ends.

For example. “It’s in the car.” 

The other punctuation marks such as any period, question mark, comma, explanation point must be inside the quotation marks. Think of it as a neat package with everything kept inside.

Dialogue Tags

Dialogue tags are the small phrases that show who's speaking. They stay outside the quotation marks. 

I’ll use our example above to show you. “It’s in the car,” Sara said. 

The sentence ends with a period after the tag said. Some writers are confused about when to capitalize while using a dialogue tag. Only capitalize when the tag starts with a proper noun like Sara. If I had used the word she instead, I wouldn’t capitalize it. 

For example: “It’s in the car,” she said.       NOT: “It’s in the car,” She said.

When using dialogue tags, give them purpose. It’s best to use tags sparingly to tell the reader who's speaking when there may be confusion. Also, stick to said or asked. Readers gloss over said and asked, but linger on words like exclaimed, whispered, yelled, huffed, and other expressions. But back to what I was saying; let me show you how writers overuse tags.

“It’s in the car,” Sara said.

“Where in the car?” Todd asked.

“Under the seat,” Sarah said.

“Which seat?” he asked.

Don’t write like that. There are too many tags. No reader wants to look at that. If you are unsure if you used too many, read the line out loud. You’ll know instantly if it sounds robotic. 

Now to my next point. Each person speaking gets their own line like I wrote it above. What if everyone wrote dialogue like this?

“It’s in the car,” Sara said. “Where in the car?” Todd asked. “Under the seat,” Sara said. “Which seat?” he asked.

It’s hard on the eyes, isn’t it? Don’t write like that either. Those are basic tips for structure, and I only mention it to help new writers who may not know the difference. Give each speaker their own line. 


So, what do you put between the quotation marks? I have easy rules.

#1. Dialogue isn't a conversation. It must be in line with a character’s desire for something. Nobody talks unless they want something.

When people talk, they chitchat, pause, and sometimes never get to the point. If your characters speak like that, they'll bore the reader. Drop all the pleasantries and think about the character's motivation. What do the characters need or want to move the plot along? 

For example: If Mary is looking for her husband’s killer, she won’t chitchat while that is on her mind. She wouldn’t ask her neighbor, Leanne, how to grow mums. She might ask Leanne about strange sounds the night of the murder. 

Whenever you’re not sure if the dialogue is appropriate for the scene, ask yourself, if I eliminated it would the reader understand what’s going on? Make each line count. The next time you watch a movie, listen to the dialogue. Each line has a purpose. The actors don’t talk unless there's a reason.  

#2. Dialogue expresses the character, not the writer. It's not there to dump information that the writer wants the reader to know. It isn’t a speech.

Please don’t dump information on the reader in long-winded character speeches. 

For example, a man is talking to his neighbor: “As you know, Bob, my son has been in college for five years. He should've graduated last year, but he likes to come home in the summer instead of taking classes to catch up. I think he should work harder. Finish and get a job.”

If Bob already knows about his neighbor's son, he doesn’t need to hear the story again. This is an example of the writer trying to dump information onto the reader. Don’t force-feed the details. The writer is putting the words in the character’s mouth instead of letting the character move closer to his goal.

#3.  Choose to show a scene instead of using dialogue when possible.

Sometimes it’s better to let the characters show rather than talk, even with conflict. In my following example, a married couple is having a problem in their relationship. I could let them argue and fight, but consider the following instead of a page of dialogue. 

 The couple leaves their penthouse apartment. Harry rushes toward the elevator while donning his hat, leaving his wife far behind him. When she finally catches up, the elevator doors bump her as she gets inside. She clutches her purse against her chest. Both of them are frowning until the elevator stops on the fourth floor, and the doors open to reveal a beautiful woman. Harry holds the elevator, removes his hat, and smiles at the lady when she enters. His wife takes a step away from him.

See what I mean. A visual can show the reader the state of their relationship without them saying a word.

#4. Use contractions

 Unless your character speaks formally, use contractions such as don’t couldn’t, wouldn’t and others. It sounds better than do not, could not, should not. It will seem natural to readers. 

#5. Don’t use proper names excessively when using dialogue tags.

This goes back to what sounds good. It’s better to tag with he said, she said, instead of calling the characters by proper names when it’s clear who he and she are. Proper names identify individuals of the same gender. For example: If Mary is talking to Casey, one of them will need their name when tagged. 

#6. Give each character their own voice, a contrast from one another

Let each character have their own way of saying things based on their education, age, personality, outlook on life.

For example: If someone told a pessimist that her husband filed for divorce, the dialogue might go like this: 

“Oh, you poor thing. You’ll never ever find another man. Now that you’re over forty, you should move back in with your parents if they’ll have you.”

While an optimist might say:

 “He wasn’t right for you. But don’t worry, there’s this guy I know who's perfect for you. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d go out with him myself. I’ll set you up.”

The optimist and pessimist will have different outlooks on everything. That’ll determine what each will say. Each character has a motivation even if it's only responding to what was said. It’s the writer’s job to determine how each character will reply.

#7. Don’t let heads talk in empty rooms.

Give the reader a little scenery and action between the dialogue. When the dialogue goes on too long, it seems like heads are talking. Without scenery, everything goes blank, sometimes referred to as white room syndrome. Ground the reader with a view of the surroundings. Give the characters something to do to engage the reader, so the scene becomes realistic.

#8. Use subtext when to add depth to the story when appropriate. 

Dialogue is interesting when the reader can read between the lines. The subtext is the meaning beneath the spoken words and within the body language. Often what’s said isn’t what’s meant. It’s implied. This avoids on-the-nose dialogue that points out the obvious to the reader. Readers like to come to their own conclusions.

Don’t get into the habit of letting characters to tell each other exactly what they’re thinking all the time. Whenever you find them being candid, take a step back. Is this information necessary to advance the plot or the readers’ understanding of what’s going on? If not, cut it. Why would one character share or withhold their thoughts from another character? There are whole books written on subtext, and it’s beyond the scope of this blog. I may write a blog about this subject later.

This post was longer than I had planned. I hope this helps you create believable dialogue in your stories. Whatever you do, keep writing.