RECOGNIZE AND CUT FILTER WORDS FROM YOUR WRITING

 

I found this photo on Google images

Hello Writers,

Today, I want to show you a technique I use to improve my writing. Every writer should search and replace words that keep the reader from immersing themselves into the story. 

Once upon a time I wrote stories riddled with filter words. Back then, I belonged to a critique group that met at a local library. The librarian printed out our files and everyone marked up each other's paper.  

Someone left me a note that said, stop using filter words. I had no idea what that meant or why. Now I do. 

Filter words are words that tell something about what your character is experiencing rather than showing it. Those words remind the readers that they're reading. We want our audience to forget where they are when they're reading our books. Filter words distance the reader from the character. We want the reader to see, feel, hear, touch, and smell the imaginary world the way the character does. 

Here are some examples of filter words to avoid. 

Saw/seen , hear/ heard, know/knew, wonder/wondered, realized, felt, became aware, think/thought, touch/touched, decide/decided, touch/ touched, smelled/smell and if you search on Google you will probably find more. 

So you might be asking, what's wrong with these words? After all, plenty of books include them, right? Yes, they do. I've picked up best-sellers and found 4 or 5 filter words on the first page. But the new trend leans toward writing in a deeper viewpoint. The standards have changed. We want to be inside the character's head. We don't want to be like a fly on the wall watching the scene unfold. 

When writing, I show the scene from my characters perspective by removing these words when I edit. They have a way of sneaking into my manuscript. Unless my point of view character is thinking about another character's reaction, I show the scene.  Confused? Let me clear this up with examples. I'll use excerpts from my upcoming novel, Run Girl Run, to prove my point. 

This is how I could've written it. 

I turned and saw Jason blowing his nose into a clean paper towel. And I stopped thinking about it.

"Dad's coming."

I heard a slamming car door and the chirp of a key fob.

Damn. 

Now this is how I wrote it. You'll have to excuse the straight quotation marks in the above example. It's a Blogger issue. The above example isn't terrible, but the second example below puts the reader deeper into the story.

Jason’s nose trumpeted into a clean paper towel and jarred 

me from the memory.

“Dad’s coming.”

A car door slammed, and a key fob chirped.

Damn.

Here's another example from my book. This is how I could've written it. 

Once I felt the soil under my shoes, I heard the wind calling my name in the direction of booze and cigarettes. Warm Coors smelled like cat piss, and the bitter taste coated my throat. 

It was my friend’s father’s stash. We, the neighborhood rebels, met up and popped a few. I saw them grimacing, then fake smiling as they swallowed. 

Here's how I wrote it. By eliminating the extra filter words from above, the reader can better experience the scene.

 Once my shoes landed on soil, the wind called my name in the direction of booze and cigarettes. Warm Coors smelled like cat piss, and the bitter taste coated my throat.

 It was my friend’s father’s stash. We, the neighborhood rebels, met up and popped a few. All of us grimacing, then fake smiling as we swallowed.

Technically, the word smelled could've been replaced with reeked, I can't imagine my sixteen-year-old protagonist describing the experience that way. My editor had no objections. If she had, I would've changed it.

Sometimes when writing, writers walk a fine line between staying in perfect deep point of view or keeping the character's voice intact. When faced with this dilemma, I prefer the voice. The voice reflects the character's personality,educucation, vocabulary, and overall view of the world. 

Also, it's fine to use the filter words in dialogue. 

As always, these suggestions aren't rules. I think of them as guides. Writing is a form of art, and art isn't rigid. But I tend to stick with the norm unless I have a good reason. 

If you like this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to my blog. If you'd like me to blog about a topic I haven't covered, feel free to ask. Whatever you do, keep writing.