HISSY FITS AND PERSONALITY SPLITS - DON'T LET INCONSISTENT CHARACTERS RUIN YOUR NOVEL

Photo by Kieran Wood on Unsplash

 Hello and welcome to my blog. I have another topic to help you with your writing journey. This was a problem I recognized in my own work. I had let my manuscript sit for a few weeks, and it was time for more edits when I stumbled upon something worth mentioning.

  

I reread a scene in my upcoming novel, Run Girl Run,  and saw a glaring error. My character, Priscilla, stepped way out of line. Here’s an excerpt from the novel I wrote in Tracie's point of view. Tracie is my teenage protagonist.  I highlighted the part that needed a change in red. 

She was a sneering witch, with twisted lips and teeth clamped together.

“Well, well.” She barged into the room as I side-stepped her. “I thought I made myself clear. You no longer live here. You might have manipulated Cal, but Dick is off-limits.”

Oh, the off-limits speech again. Please.

Dick stood in the doorway. “Tracie didn’t manipulate me.”

“She sure did. And now she’s got you defending her. How convenient.” Priscilla gave me a wicked grin. “Get out of my house before I call the police. They’ll know what to do with a teenage runaway.”

Holy crap, I had plowed up the wrong plot and unearthed the rot of jealousy. And it stunk.

“Can I please get my clothes out of the dryer?”

“No, you can’t. Leave now.” She took a swipe at a lamp and it flew across the room. The bulb shattered, glass skidding over the wood floor.

“But I need my uniforms and shoes.”

“You should’ve thought of that before sneaking in here.”

Dick took a step forward. “Priscilla, be reasonable. Let the kid have her clothes.”

     She moved toward me and grabbed my arm. “It’s not negotiable. Go before I lose my temper.” She squeezed hard and pulled me toward the door.

 

During the reread, I realized my mistake. In that moment, I wanted to smack myself upside the head. Why did I write that? For Pete’s sake, Priscilla would have never behaved that way. She would have never put her hands on Tracie. Priscilla didn’t believe in attacking kids, though lamps weren’t off limits. This section begged for a rewrite. So, that’s what I did. After I fixed the scene, Priscilla’s reaction made perfect sense. 

Writers must keep a character’s behavior consistent to make the story believable. If your protagonist is terrified of guns, he wouldn’t have them stashed in every drawer of his house. Or if your character’s sister was bitten by a poisonous snake, she’s not likely to keep one for a pet. A character that frets about her appearance wouldn’t choose to go to the store dressed in ratty sweat pants and a dirty t-shirt. If she did, you better have a good reason for sending her out in public like that.

When reviewing your work, double check the dialogue and the character's reaction. Does the dialogue fit the character you created? Are they acting like they have throughout the entire novel? If not, why not? What makes a character tick? What happened in their past for them to react or not respond like another character would? What recurring elements do you want to clarify in the manuscript? Are the pieces glued together into a coherent story? Do they entwine and swirl into a theme?

Some writers keep a character development file to remind them of pertinent details. Character development and character consistency aren’t the same thing, but they’re related. By reviewing a character’s background, personality, beliefs, education, and motivation, you can better decide how they should behave under certain conditions.

It can take several rereads before consistency mistakes rear their ugly heads. For me, it’s after I’ve reread my work so many times, I can quote entire passages. I notice these errors when I’m sick of the story. And though I’m tired of looking at the manuscript, I know if I don’t review it one more time, I might miss something important. What motivates me the most? The readers will yell foul. I want my audience to love my stories.

If you have a tip for keeping a character consistent, leave a comment below. Also, if you have a topic you'd like me to cover, feel free to leave a request. I'd love to hear from you. 

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Cut These 5 Scenes to Strengthen Your Novel ( Are your readers yawning through your sex scenes?)

Photo by Girl with Red Hat on Unsplash

Hello, and welcome to my blog. Today, I’ll give you some writing tips that helped me. I’ll tell you which scenes in a story aren’t necessary and why you should cut them. Each of the following slows the pace and diffuses the focus from your plot. 

Leaving in the wrong details leads to boredom. We don't want our readers to yawn like this sleepy feline. 

Let’s get to it.

     

 1.    Characters en route

Cut traveling scenes unless something exciting happens or the character needs a moment of reflection. Long journeys with elaborate description is boring. 

If the characters are having an important conversation, consider letting them talk at their destination. There are exceptions. If what they're saying builds suspense, don't cut the scene.  But keep it short.  

2. Chit-chat

Making small talk is painful for me. I don’t believe readers want to wade through paragraphs of sluggish dialogue. Stories must move the plot forward. Avoid anything that slows the pace. This includes consecutive pages of flirting. A little goes a long way. Also, delete mundane activites such as taking showers and eating. Unless something interesting happens, no one cares.

   3.     Long Sex Scenes

Less is usually more. If you're writing romance, stick with the standard guidelines. Research what readers expect from each genre. Know your readers and what they like. A friend once told me she read a popular erotic novel and 

after a few chapters the sex got boring. Who knew? Right? 

4.    Static setting descriptions

Long descriptions (more than a few lines) don’t advance the plot. Integrate setting details so the reader isn’t getting a laundry list that they'll want to skim. 

5.    Vague dream sequences

These scenes are distracting and confusing. Multiple dreams kill the suspense and hurt the pacing. When a story includes dreams, I might read the first one. After that, I stop. Even movies structured this way annoy me.

Now, what if you have fabulous descriptions or witty dialogue, and you’re finding it hard to hit the delete button? It pains me to cut lines I love from my own stories. But I pick out the relevant phrases for my work in progress and move the rest to a reference file. Sprinkle those lines into future stories.

I hope you find this advice helpful. This is what has worked for me. Are there any scenes you cut that I haven’t mentioned? If so, leave a comment below. Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. 

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RECOGNIZE AND CUT FILTER WORDS FROM YOUR WRITING

 

I found this photo on Google images

Hello Writers,

Today, I want to show you a technique I use to improve my writing. Every writer should search and replace words that keep the reader from immersing themselves into the story. 

Once upon a time I wrote stories riddled with filter words. Back then, I belonged to a critique group that met at a local library. The librarian printed out our files and everyone marked up each other's paper.  

Someone left me a note that said, stop using filter words. I had no idea what that meant or why. Now I do. 

Filter words are words that tell something about what your character is experiencing rather than showing it. Those words remind the readers that they're reading. We want our audience to forget where they are when they're reading our books. Filter words distance the reader from the character. We want the reader to see, feel, hear, touch, and smell the imaginary world the way the character does. 

Here are some examples of filter words to avoid. 

Saw/seen , hear/ heard, know/knew, wonder/wondered, realized, felt, became aware, think/thought, touch/touched, decide/decided, touch/ touched, smelled/smell and if you search on Google you will probably find more. 

So you might be asking, what's wrong with these words? After all, plenty of books include them, right? Yes, they do. I've picked up best-sellers and found 4 or 5 filter words on the first page. But the new trend leans toward writing in a deeper viewpoint. The standards have changed. We want to be inside the character's head. We don't want to be like a fly on the wall watching the scene unfold. 

When writing, I show the scene from my characters perspective by removing these words when I edit. They have a way of sneaking into my manuscript. Unless my point of view character is thinking about another character's reaction, I show the scene.  Confused? Let me clear this up with examples. I'll use excerpts from my upcoming novel, Run Girl Run, to prove my point. 

This is how I could've written it. 

I turned and saw Jason blowing his nose into a clean paper towel. And I stopped thinking about it.

"Dad's coming."

I heard a slamming car door and the chirp of a key fob.

Damn. 

Now this is how I wrote it. You'll have to excuse the straight quotation marks in the above example. It's a Blogger issue. The above example isn't terrible, but the second example below puts the reader deeper into the story.

Jason’s nose trumpeted into a clean paper towel and jarred 

me from the memory.

“Dad’s coming.”

A car door slammed, and a key fob chirped.

Damn.

Here's another example from my book. This is how I could've written it. 

Once I felt the soil under my shoes, I heard the wind calling my name in the direction of booze and cigarettes. Warm Coors smelled like cat piss, and the bitter taste coated my throat. 

It was my friend’s father’s stash. We, the neighborhood rebels, met up and popped a few. I saw them grimacing, then fake smiling as they swallowed. 

Here's how I wrote it. By eliminating the extra filter words from above, the reader can better experience the scene.

 Once my shoes landed on soil, the wind called my name in the direction of booze and cigarettes. Warm Coors smelled like cat piss, and the bitter taste coated my throat.

 It was my friend’s father’s stash. We, the neighborhood rebels, met up and popped a few. All of us grimacing, then fake smiling as we swallowed.

Technically, the word smelled could've been replaced with reeked, I can't imagine my sixteen-year-old protagonist describing the experience that way. My editor had no objections. If she had, I would've changed it.

Sometimes when writing, writers walk a fine line between staying in perfect deep point of view or keeping the character's voice intact. When faced with this dilemma, I prefer the voice. The voice reflects the character's personality,educucation, vocabulary, and overall view of the world. 

Also, it's fine to use the filter words in dialogue. 

As always, these suggestions aren't rules. I think of them as guides. Writing is a form of art, and art isn't rigid. But I tend to stick with the norm unless I have a good reason. 

If you like this post, please leave a comment or subscribe to my blog. If you'd like me to blog about a topic I haven't covered, feel free to ask. Whatever you do, keep writing.

HOOK THE READER FROM THE FIRST PAGE

Photo courtesy of my own tackle box

Hello Writers,

This week I have a special treat for you. I have invited other authors to share their best tips for hooking the reader from the first page. These methods are tried and true. 

Without the proper bait, your hook won't attract anyone. You can cast your lure online, and no one will notice. After all, the internet is a sea of books. You want readers to bite early and hang on tight  You can't have them to fighting to escape. If done properly, they'll love your story and beg for more.  

For the record, I took this picture myself, but I don't like fishing for anything but readers. 

There's a half-dozen barbs on the lure. And there's more than one way hook your audience. Now, let's see how my guests dig their hooks in deep. 

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Helen C. Johannes writes fantasy romance and has a tip for you. 

One technique I use is to set up a goal for the character in the opening lines. What does he/she hope to achieve in the next minutes/hours? If the reader knows what the character is determined to do, the reader can ‘keep score’ as the character bobs and weaves through whatever obstacles are thrown into his/her path. Here’s the opening to my latest fantasy romance LORD OF DRUEMARWIN: 

Sixty-nine, seventy, seventy-one...  Naed counted the tower steps, gritting his teeth at every other one. His left leg held strong under the combined weight of his weapons, shield and chest armor—even on the third climb.

Seventy-two, seventy-three... Never again would he be the last up the stairs because of it. Never again would he fall.

Or fail. 

Sweat dripped off his nose. Seventy-four, seventy-five, seventy-six...  To make doubly sure, he would add his helm to the weight total tomorrow.

If only his patched-together thigh didn’t still ache... 

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Helen-C-Johannes/e/B003JJDQWS/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_ebooks_1

 Blog: Helen C. Johannes, Author

Contact: helen.c.johannes@gmail.com

http://helencjohannes.blogspot.com/

Brave Men, Bold Women, Hearts in Search of Home

LORD OF DRUEMARWIN

THE PRINCE OF VAL-FEYRIDGE

BLOODSTONE

FREDERICK FLY-CATCHER             Blog / Amazon author page  / The Wild Rose Press 

About the author: 

Helen C. Johannes writes award-winning fantasy romance inspired by the fairy tales she grew up reading and the amazing historical places she’s visited in England, Ireland, Scotland and Germany. She writes tales of adventure and romance in fully realized worlds sprung from pure imagination and a lifelong interest in history, culture, and literature. Warriors on horseback, women who refuse to sit idly at home, and passion that cannot be denied or outrun—that’s what readers will find in her books.

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Here's some advice from contemporary romance author, Jennifer Wilck. 

Ideally, I want the first line of my book to grab my reader’s attention in unexpected ways. Maybe it’s a piece of dialogue that’s just crazy enough to make the reader stop and focus. Or a description of the hero that makes the reader drool. Or just something out of the ordinary that conveys information. In my latest book, Unlock My Heart, the first sentence of the first chapter gives information about my hero, Ted Endicott.

Lip reading was exhausting.

“Right away, the reader knows the hero is hard of hearing, he’s tired, and he wants to make a change (even if he doesn’t know it yet himself). Hopefully, the reader is convinced to keep reading to learn more."

Here's a link to Jennifer's books: https://books2read.com/u/4NyjGx 

About the author:

Jennifer started telling herself stories as a little girl when she couldn’t fall asleep at night. Pretty soon, her head was filled with these stories and the characters that populated them. Even as an adult, she thinks about the characters and stories at night before she falls asleep or walking the dog. Eventually, she started writing them down. Her favorite stories to write are those with smart, sassy, independent heroines; handsome, strong and slightly vulnerable heroes; and her stories always end with happily ever after.

In the real world, she’s the mother of two amazing daughters and wife of one of the smartest men she knows. She believes humor is the only way to get through the day and does not believe in sharing her chocolate. 

Jennifer Wilck is an award-winning contemporary romance author for readers who are passionate about love, laughter, and happily ever after. Known for writing both Jewish and non-Jewish romances, her books feature damaged heroes, sassy and independent heroines, witty banter and hot chemistry. Jennifer’s ability to transport the reader into the scene, create characters the reader will fall in love with, and evoke a roller coaster of emotions, will hook you from the first page. You can find her books at all major online retailers in a variety of formats.

Author Links:

Website: http://www.jenniferwilck.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/879114386079365

Newsletter: https://www.jenniferwilck.com/contact.html#newsletter

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JWilck

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjenniferwilck/

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/jennifer-wilck

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Sandra Young enjoys mixing things up. Here's what she had to say.

When I wrote my February debut, Divine Vintage, I mixed genres in an attempt to hook readers who enjoy a variety of books. I personally like to read novels that entwine romance around historical mystery, fashion, and ghostly influences, so I focused on those for my debut and the sequel I’m currently finishing.

 

I also strive to keep up the pace of the scenes. If I start getting bored or bogged down when writing, I imagine readers will feel the same and I move on in building the tension and stakes for the characters.

 

 

Sandra L. Young

Author of Divine Vintage

Debuted February 21, 2022 with The Wild Rose Press

 

Website: SandraYoungAuthor.com

@1DivineVintage    https://www.instagram.com/slyoungauthor/

About the author:

Sandra L. Young’s love of vintage fashion inspired her to write her debut novel, Divine Vintage. She’s researched and gathered an impressive collection spanning the late 1800s to 1990s, wearing pieces onstage through years of performing in community theater. To round out her love of the arts, she sings with a trio and a praise band. The book is available through https://books2read.com/u/3Ly7Q5 or links on her web site at https://sandrayoungauthor.com/.

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Regarding hooks, Carol Nickles  tries to leave the reader with a lingering visceral reaction so they are compelled to read more! Here are 2 excerpts from her book, Thumb Fire Desire. 

Monet, Gauguin, and Winslow Homer would have

pledged their plein air easels for a crack at the scene.

But the scene sticking in Ginny’s mind on her return

home was Peter, brushing his rough hands over an

embroidered hatband. She couldn’t decipher all it

entailed, but this she knew—a bond existed between

Peter and Nokee that surpassed any of the dime novel

love stories authored by Mrs. Georgie Sheldon.

Ginny’s hips rolled in tandem with the movement

of Buster’s shoulders. Her feet lolled in the stirrups.

She held the reins lightly. The hardest working muscle

in her body was her brain. Ginny’s accumulated kiss

experience left her questioning and wanting. She leaned

forward and pressed her lips into Buster’s mane. Was

Peter’s kiss just an emotional climax to a thrilling

horse race? Or was he kissing her like he’d kiss a little

sister?

To read more of  Carol's book,  Thumb Fire Desire click the link https://www.amazon.com/Thumb-Fire-Desire-Carol-Nickles/dp/1509241981/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1UTELDSQI7008&keywords=thumb+fire+desire+by+carol+nickles&qid=1651519365&sprefix=%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1

About the author: 

Carol Nickles is the sixth generation of a German textile aficionado family.  In 1881, her great-great-great-grandfather founded Yale Woolen Mill—the longest-lasting of Michigan’s once twenty-nine woolen mills.  Carol earned a Master’s degree in Historic Clothing & Textiles at Michigan State University.  Her thesis is a narrative of the Yale Woolen Mill. She held faculty positions at both Utah and Michigan State universities. She lives in West Michigan and enjoys spinning a tale, weaving a story, and threading a luring hook. 

Website: www.carolnicklesauthor.com

Email:  carolnickleswriting@gmail.com

Facebook:  AuthorCarolNickles

Tik Tok:  @authornickles

Twitter:  @CarolNickles

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Terry Newman, the author of Heartquake, has great advice. 

The surest way to grab the reader’s attention is to drop them into the middle of the action. And the best way to do that is to pique their attention with an opening line.

It’s that simple. And that difficult.

It’s impossible to underestimate a book’s first line. It needs to be short—some say no longer than ten words—and must lure them into the action that’s happening in the first paragraph.

In my book, Heartquake, the first line is: “No, ma’am, I don’t believe we’ll need you to describe it…” When the reader reads the next line, they discover they’re in the middleof the police dealing with reports of a lion  wandering through town.

As an author, you need to decide, first, on what type of action or situation to introduce to your readers, then decide on the best and shortest way to lure them into the action.

Buy Links

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Heartquake-Terry-Newman-ebook/dp/B09PJZ5FK1/ref=sr_1_1?crid=8O69AITAZH3O&keywords=heartquake+terry+newman&qid=1645631543&sprefix=Heartquake+%2Caps%2C98&sr=8-1 

Social Media Links

Website

https://terrynewmanauthor.com/

Facebook: Terry Newman

https://www.facebook.com/terry.newman.31521 

Twitter: @tnewmanwrites

https://twitter.com/tnewmanwrites 

Instagram: terry.newman.31521

https://www.instagram.com/terry.newman.31521/ 

TikTok: @terrynewman614

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60574351-heartquake?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=99H2V7dnWm&rank=1

Bookbub: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60574351-heartquake?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=99H2V7dnWm&rank=1 

About the author: 

Terry Newman has always loved words. As the editor-in-chief of a national natural health publishing company, she has written books on a variety of topics, as well as writing direct-mail advertising.

She’s also worked as a reporter, a communications specialist and a freelance writer. She’d had clients worldwide, and researched and wrote hundreds of eBooks and print books as well as ghostwrote novellas and short stories.

One day she woke and decided to make her dream of writing her own novel come true. She sets

all her stories in fictional towns in northeast Ohio and writes about things she loves—like coffee.

Terry has taught workshops on writing and character development. 

She has a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy, and lives in North Lima, a real town in

northeast Ohio.

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That's a wrap for my guests. Now, I'll throw in my two cents. In my YA suspense novel, Run Girl Run, the opening makes the reader curious and introduces my protagonist.

I started the trouble. If Dad was here, he’d say, ‘Tracie, you did it again.’

Naturally, the reader wonders what kind of trouble. What did she do?

Later, on the first page, my main character's desire and fear clash. Tracie wants something, but deep down she's afraid. This creates the internal conflict my character must overcome to reach her goal. Her internal conflict is the real story. It's why the story matters. That's how I make the reader care about her. Without her internal struggle, she's just a sixteen-year-old -girl in a terrible situation.

Tracie's fear stems from a misbelief she's been living with. I set her on a journey to overcome it. The reader goes along for the ride. That's how I hook my audience.

My novel is under contract with
The Wild Rose Press, tentative release 2022

This blog post was inspired by one of my subscribers. It wouldn't have been possible without the gracious authors who agreed to contribute. Thank you, thank you. You ladies are the best. Readers, please show them some love by clicking on their links, visiting their websites, or leaving a comment below.

If you like this post, be sure to share, and subscribe. If you have a tip that hooks the reader, feel free to leave a comment. We're here to help each other. If you have a writing topic you'd like me to tackle on a future, leave a request in the comments. Until then, have a blessed day, and whatever you do, keep writing.